Thoughts from the Chair

Well, today marks 4 weeks since the big accident and surgery. I have to say, the last 2 weeks have been harder in many ways than the first two. The first two I was happy to sit in the chair because I really didn't feel like doing much else. But then I found myself mentally and emotionally ready to get back into life but my body wasn't quite ready. Being the social person I am, coming back to the recliner to look at the fireplace became more and more difficult knowing most people were out enjoying the last days of summer or at least buying their kids school supplies. Tired of asking others to do what I could not do for myself was getting very old. I've learned a lot about myself in this and am trying to see what God would have me learn in all of this.

What I've learned about myself: I really am a people person, more than I thought. I'm not a good passenger in the car, I'd much rather be driving and in control - just ask my mother-in-law. I don't like being weak - physically or emotionally. I like being self-sufficient - I hate asking others for help. It's easier to give than to receive. I have a great family and friends - I knew that but appreciate it in a new way.

I think one of the things I'm supposed to be learning in all of this is humility. I'm hoping it will stop soon but it may not. I was humbled to have 2 friends come and clean my house and see that I'm not the best housekeeper. I am humbled by what I can't do or what takes me a really long time to do. I was elated today when I was told I could start bearing weight and walking on my metal plated ankle. I was humbled when I left the PT appointment with a cane and even more humbled when I walked into Target and ran into some people I knew with my cane. Next I headed over to the motorized carts. I quickly realized how low you sit and how inferior you feel among your fellow shoppers. If that wasn't enough, the carts beep when you back up adding insult to injury. And then, my cart ran out of juice right next to the "intimate apparel" section. Nice! Thankfully, my husband came around the corner and to my rescue a few minutes later. Humility of a different sort. I will look at many people with new eyes now and that's a good thing.

So today was a big step as I gained a little more independence with my new walking orders. Yet, I hope I don't forget what I am learning with each new step in this process. Oh, and the fireplace, there is no question in my mind that it WILL get painted a nice cream color in the near future!

Reflections

Sitting in a chair/bed for 2 weeks gives one a lot of time to think, especially after coming out of a drug induced fog. Sometimes when we're forced to slow down, we are able to better see our blessings and that which we just take for granted - like walking. Don't get me wrong, I do not recommend my method of slowing down in such extreme measures. A little reflective time each day would suffice.

This experience has shown me the power of love through family, friends, and the body of Christ. Meals for my family - much better than I cook on a daily basis (yes, they are getting spoiled!). Cards from people stream in each day and I am touched that each would take the time to write them and mail them, especially in this instant society of e-mail that we live in. Random visits and phone calls - taking a few minutes out of what I know are busy days to come and just chat and make me laugh for a while. Gifts of chocolate, Starbucks, goodies for the family, reading material, and other items - all blessings. These are all reminders of God's love for me and all of us too. The fact that He connects us with people that can demonstrate a bit of His love to us.

I will look at injured people differently and with more compassion. I hope that I will take time out of my busy day (when I am back in full swing) to stop and spend some time with someone who has been unexpectedly slowed. I will try not to take for granted ordinary daily stuff that I do without thinking like walking, opening the garbage can (we have one of the ones with the foot pedal - a problem when neither of your feet can press the pedal!), being able to answer the doorbell or phone within a reasonable amount of time, playing with my kids, driving, and the list goes on.

As I reflect on the whole accident itself, I realized that it hurt more to see my daughter so upset about my injury than the injury itself. I guess that's that mother love that kicks in when you don't even realize it at the time. And the blessing - yes, we really do matter to our kids! Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of that.

So I am reminded that in all things there are blessings and in the hard times, a chance to be refined. The verse I read this morning in John 10:10 hit home with me "The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in its fullness." Let's live our lives in Christ's fullness!

The Ankle

It's amazing what just 2 seconds can do to one's life. I was busy getting props together for our opening at VBS a few weeks ago - mind fully focused on the task before me and the limited time to get it all done. I crossed the backstage at full speed with my eyes focused on the part of the stage that was extended - forgetting that the whole stage was not extended. I quickly walked off the end at full throttle only to drop 18 - 24" where my ankles, which have always been weak, buckled and sent me sprawling forward.

As soon as I was able to turn over, I knew it was bad. The incredible immediate pain and then numbness told me this was not just a sprain this time. It was easy to see that the left ankle was broken and we were not sure about the right. My co-director, Lisa, was quickly at my side along with some others as we determined the next step (no pun intended). After some debate, we decided we needed to call 911 and asked that they come without sirens. The first responders got there right away and told us the ambulance was on it's way. The next hurdle - 400 kids were due to come in and sing in just a few minutes. We managed to get the paramedics in right before the kids and then let the kids in. While they all sang, I was behind the stage with all the medical help getting IV morphine and on to the stretcher. My next request was that we leave after the kids were dismissed. It all worked out perfectly as I was set to go just as the kids were let out to their next event.

X-rays and a meeting with the orthopedist determined that the left ankle was broken in 3 places and would need surgery. The right was a bad sprain. I was admitted to the hospital and put on the surgery docket for the next day. I finally had surgery at 7:00 the next evening and have begun the healing process. I ended up with a plate with 5 screws and then 2 other screws to hold bones together in another place. 2 weeks with feet up and then we'll go from there. I have a nifty scooter to get me around the house. Getting out of the house is quite a process so it's pretty much been the blue recliner and me for the past 10 days.

We are overwhelmed with all the help we've gotten from family and friends. Meals, gifts, treats, running errands, running kids, and on and on. Sometimes it takes something "bad" to happen to help you realize how "good" you have it. We are blessed - I am blessed. And no, I had not just prayed for patience!